The real epidemic of this life is certainly not the Corona Virus.
An invisible heart shattering virus has been taking lives of many since man’s fall in the Garden. Unfortunately, this false type of love has made its way into every nook and cranny of our societies leaving many asking the question:
Where is the LOVE?
Where is the LOVE in the homes and marriages?
Where is the LOVE in the churches and the world at large?
Throughout the history of many human relationships, all we see are the trails of fake love.
Fake love has most of us in shackles.
But, the underlining question is, if it’s fake, is it even worthy to be called love?
We all know that, something is termed as fake when it’s not genuine or when it’s a counterfeit.
Sadly, fake love has become such a norm that most of our chart-topping songs showcase this. Why? Because billions across the world can only identify with this version of LOVE.
Yet, there is a deep need in our souls to not give up on LOVE because in doing so we will be giving up on LIFE itself.
Jesus’ life and teachings were all hinged on true love for God and our neighbours.
L.O.V.E is a big deal to God.
So much so that he sacrificed Jesus in our stead.
True love is a choice, sacrifice, denial of self, service, risk, commitment, constancy and intentionality.
In our many conversations with people who have been damaged, fake love, we can conclude, creeps its head as the underlining root cause.
Fake love, which started from the confines of their homes.
Homes are the building blocks of our society. For society to be in disarray and generations cut off, the enemy knows his greatest weapon is to destroy the foundations of our homes–families. Many homes, whether Christian or secular are sadly either broken or dysfunctional and it’s all because of fake love. Fathers who are not present in the lives of their children and mothers who have unreal expectations of their children. We see our home relationships affecting our ongoing relationships with others.
Unhealed hurt people hurt people.
As a daughter, you live/d in that family home where daddy is/was physically present, but non-existent in your life. Or, daddy is/was just never there. So, you go out there chasing friendships to fill that void only to find out you are still empty.
You go from one erotic relationship to the next to the next till you begin to say and believe that..
‘all men are trash’.
As a young guy, you grow up with the absence of your father or his presence in the home demonstrated by abuse, fear, and dictatorship.
So, you vow to yourself,
‘I will never be like that’.
But, what you forget is that a seed has been sown indirectly and some of these deep wounds you do not really heal. Consequently, you go around dating every woman and trying to show them the love that you never experienced, yet because you had the wrong foundation your love is distorted.
For some of my brothers, the effects of this misleading love show up as, need for power, addictions, anger, wrong associations, and misaligned priorities.
We are so oblivious to the fact that we are broken, shackled and chained. The very things we vowed not to become, the very way we vowed not to show love is the very thing we find ourselves doing.
Caught up in this broken system of cycles, crying out for a way out but not knowing what to do.
We too found ourselves shackled up in fake love based on past experiences.
Fake love in the family unit, fake love amongst friends, fake love in our past and present relationships. We tried to break free, we tried to do better but found ourselves loving the way we didn’t want.
Like the Apostle Paul observed,
“I don’t really understand myself, for I want to do what is right, but I don’t do it. Instead, I do what I hate.” (Romans 7:15 NLT)
As a man, the damage of fake love made me a people pleaser. Not truly loving myself God’s way because my family struggled to accept me for who I was. My closest ones had unrealistic expectation of who they felt I should be. Lost in my identity on Christ, I found myself battling anxiety and low self esteem.
As a female, there once was a time I gave up trying. I was angry, bitter, confused, trying to figure this LOVE thing out, even in my marriage.
I know right!
I wanted to understand why life must be this way. Why does love have to hurt so much?
“Oh, what a miserable person I am! Who will free me from this life that is dominated by sin and death? (Romans 7:24 NLT)
WHO will heal my broken heart and teach me how to love again?
WHO will teach me how to love the right way?
WHO will not only teach, but demonstrate what true love is to me so I can learn? So I can be healed, delivered, and set free from the pains of fake love?
Thank God! The answer is in Jesus Christ our Lord. Jesus Christ the one that has become my Savior and Lord.
“He personally carried our sins in his body on the cross so that we can be dead to sin and live for what is right. By his wounds you are healed.”
(1 Peter 2:24)
You see all this while I had been looking for true love in the wrong people, in the wrong places. I thought I was healed before I got married, but, boy was I wrong. I allowed past experiences, past hurts and pain keep me bound.
What I failed to deal with, came back to deal with me.
I allowed it to blind me and rob me of experiencing JOY in my early marriage years.
When all the while God had his hand stretched out to hold and show me TRUE LOVE. He began to open my eyes to see what true love looks like through the person of Jesus Christ.
I hope you heard me earlier…
What we fail to deal with will come back to deal with us!
See, because of these encounters I had with Christ, I am no longer bound. I’ve been set free, healed, and delivered. And, I know, you too, can be healed!
YOU TOO can be set free from the pain, the hurt, the anger, bitterness, you name it.
JESUS CAME FOR YOU. YES YOU!
He wants to set you free. He wants to heal you. He wants to love you and show you what true love really is.
“But, why should I give Jesus Christ a chance?”
I’ll tell you why…
Christ himself experienced fake love.
He had his very own disciple, Judas, whom he walked with, ate with and drank with, sell him out for just a few shekels of gold and a cheeky kiss.
He had crowds follow him around everywhere, for miracles, signs, and wonders and yet when it came down to the end, these very same people shouted, “crucify him!”
He had Peter, one of his right-hand men, deny him 3 times. Talk about fake ‘shady’ love.
Christ experienced it all.
Jesus was used, abused, and crucified…yet was able to FORGIVE.
This makes him the only one that qualifies for your total healing from fake love wounds.
Yeah, you heard that, right!
We both gave him a chance and now we are here. The once broken girl with wrong concepts and examples of love and the little boy that looked for love in all the wrong places are now married and loving each other the godly way.
And together, we strive to be parents who will love the two children God has blessed us with the Christ way.
You have given other people the chance and they did you dirty.
Why don’t you give Jesus the chance to clean up the dirty and make you whole?
We hope and pray you will.
Till the ink runs dry…. Shalom!